“Water’s wet. Water’s cold. We don’t want you in it, do we?”
were the opening words from John, our larger than life ex Royal Navy sea
survival trainer. We were at Hamble on the south coast of England for our
intensive day of training on how to cope with shipwreck, fire, disease, injury
and worse. We learned about life raft inflation, what to do if your skipper
loses his marbles, how to be rescued by a helicopter, what to do with poo or
period detritus when in your life raft (throw it as far away as you can to
reduce the chance of shark attack!), what to put in your grab bags, how to
choose your new life jackets and a host of other “must know” information.
There were 16 in our group, mostly in their 50s and early
60s with a smattering of younger sailors. Experience varied from very little to
yacht masters. We were targeted by a couple with their friends who are planning
to “sell up and sail” much like us. Except that their boat is a 55’ Oyster
currently undergoing a complete refit in Southampton. Their electric winches
probably cost as much as we paid for Petronella and they couldn’t imagine how
we managed with no hot water and only two solar panels. But we had an
interesting chat nonetheless.
Half the day involved this theoretical stuff but what we
were all really there for was the practical part. Thankfully few sailors ever
have to take to their life rafts but it’s better to learn how to “step UP into
your raft” in the swimming pool than on a cold, dark, stormy night in the
middle of the ocean. So off we went to the local sports college. Change into oilies
three sizes too big and don the ancient blow up life jackets. Onto the poolside
and jump into the pool using the hand over the nose technique. After trying to
swim normal backstroke (very difficult) and front crawl (impossible – I actually
moved in the opposite direction) we learned to lie on our backs and make mini
backstroke movements. This allowed us to make slow progress but it is pretty
hard work. Then eight of us linked up and worked as a long backstroke crocodile.
I was behind Ros from the Oyster and incongruously as we paddled towards the
inflated life raft I thought “I have my calves in the armpits of a millionairess.”
Bizarre or what. Then, in our groups of eight we struggled into the life raft.
It’s not easy. Everything is slippery, everyone is struggling to slither in, no
one is in command and you are lying on top of people that two hours ago you had
never met.
 |
| [Photo acknowledgements to Anita] |
Next it was time to right the life raft. We each learned how
to stand on the step, reach up to the CO2 canister, grab the ladder, walk our
hands up the ladder, pull the raft up over our heads, punch some air into the
base as it came down on top of us (this was the scary bit for some people), chat
to Gemma our swimming assistant whilst in the air pocket under the raft and
then calmly swim out from underneath the raft. All in all a very useful
experience and one that hopefully we will never need to repeat.
Additional lessons to learn:
-
Check for wasps inside your oilies. They may
sting you.
-
Do not put your dry clothes bag on top of a
locker with a gap behind. They may disappear eight feet down behind said locker.
-
Always carry a BFK* with you in case you get
caught in the various tapes and straps hanging off the life raft.
Shortly after completing this course we went looking for
better life jackets with sprayhoods, crotch straps, LED lights and more
reflective tape. A sobering day.
*Big Fucking Knife
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